Change

Change is the only constant in life,
yet for reasons of etiquette, and societal approval,
we maintain an unconscious fight to preserve our limited self sense
to maintain our disease.

I am afraid of changes, even though a change have a half chance that it will be for the better. Perhaps that's because most of the changes to my life have not been so. I am afraid of new patterns overriding old, so much so that new is applied to things around me, applied to my environment but rarely to myself. We can change our clothes to suit climate and fashion but rarely do we change our attitudes to suit our souls, our inner selves. We like to keep change at a distance from our innermost selves, we like to wear glasses that make us blind to the most obvious need for change that will restore honesty and harmony to our lives. We cover ourselves with things and more things.

And that's the kind of attitude I adopt often. These protective layers, I will alter and change but I will not dare go beyond personal space to what I truly am.

Yes indeed, I am paranoia, and I dare not leave my safety circle of 'status quo', even though I would gladly embrace improvements to my life and the life of my loved ones through my actions. But remember, a change have an equal chance of becoming a negative alteration. Nightmares of my friends changing, my father changing, family situation changing, and as a result, the balance of my life tipping off the scale on the wrong end continues to haunt me.

I need to change that attitude. I need to forget the past. I need to embrace the future. I need to...

~~~~~

Happy Birthday to Alvin, Yingnah, Alvin, Peiwen and Fengqian.

~~~~~

載著你 彷彿載著陽光 不管到哪裡都是晴天